Toxic Masculinity - BE A MAN

This topic can illicit strong reactions in people. Some feel that it does not exist or that it is not as damaging as some will portray it to be. I can only write from my perspective having grown up with the messages that Joe Ehrmann outlines in his 2013 TEDx Talk.

I played sports and remained athletically competitive well into adulthood, so I have been in and around locker rooms and locker room talk for decades. Like most men, I have been referred to in less than flattering terms for getting injured, getting emotional and wanting relationships that were more than superficial. I was taught to "be strong," which meant to hide my emotions, to hide my pain and to not let people hurt (emotionally or physically) me without some retribution. Ehrmann's message resonates with me.

Joe Ehrmann (former NFL and USFL Defensive Lineman) succinctly and passionately encapsulates the conditioning that every man experiences growing up and continues to experience each day in our society. In his TEDx Talk, he outlines how the indoctrination into "maleness" happens subtly and overtly over time. He also provides a roadmap to help us break free from these outdated societally accepted norms for manhood.

Here is the link to his TEDx Talk: https://youtu.be/jVI1Xutc_Ws

I encourage you to give it a watch and take a look at the narratives/messages that you have accepted as your own and how they have positively and negatively impact you. For those with sons, please examine the messages that you are communicating to them and how it is shaping their behavior, their attitudes and their relationships.

As men, we no longer have to be bound by these narratives that were given to us and that we have previously accepted. They can be damaging and can keep us from accepting and thriving in our relationships. They can also hold us back from being our genuine selves.

Looking at these narratives, how they shaped us and how we wield them is not an easy process or one that I recommend lightly. It requires us to break down our long held beliefs. Some of these beliefs are core to who we are as men today. It's scary to think what we will be left with if we risk this level of self-examination.

To this I say: Risk it! Open the discussion!