My belief is that anxiety and depression are helpful, if we let them.
Problem is that most of us don’t allow them to be helpful. We receive messages throughout our day that we should be “happy,” that “our lives are not that bad” and that we have “no reason to be anxious or sad.” I believe these messages are delivered with the best of intentions and are meant to encourage us, but if lived out for long periods of time, they can be damaging. At their core, they encourage us to ignore a problem that our brain and body are signaling exists. So…we distract ourselves with work, TV, alcohol/drugs, sex, etc. We tell ourselves repeatedly that everything is “okay,” “it’s not a big deal,” "you're overreacting" and “not to worry.” Before long, those thoughts can no longer be stopped by utilizing these techniques. This is the point where I believe distraction switches over to suppression.
I liken suppression to filling a water balloon. If you have ever done this, you’ve undoubtedly left a balloon on the hose or faucet too long and it burst. With the people I have worked with over the years, this is an all-too-familiar experience. Here is how it plays out. We are going along in our day, and everything is reasonably okay. Our skills of distraction and suppression are mostly holding the anxiety and/or depression at bay and then BOOM. The most innocuous thing happens and we EXPLODE. Sometimes we break down in tears. Sometimes we yell at someone that doesn’t deserve it. Sometimes we turn it inward and act out in destructive ways. Whichever one we choose, we hurt someone that didn’t deserve it, including ourselves, with emotions and actions much bigger than the situation warranted.
Let me take a moment to address the elephant in the room. Distraction is helpful and necessary, as is suppression in small doses. Each of us has a job to do. Each of us has tasks that must get done within a day. Distraction/Suppression helps us put our head down and get those tasks accomplished. I am contending that if we do that for too long (time varies in length for each individual) without addressing the need that is being expressed through the anxiety and depression and/or the behaviors created by the anxiety and depression, we will have a difficult time finding peace or resolution to those feelings and the damage they can do to us.
My challenge…Pay attention to the feeling of anxiety or of depression. Pay attention to what they are calling your attention to and act.
Seek out the trusted people in your world. Let them into this vulnerable place and seek their help and support through it. If you don't have someone or have a difficult time identifying people you can trust, I encourage you to seek out a therapist, a pastor/minister or a doctor. Let the trusted person assist you through this difficult time and help carry the burden, so you do not have to walk through it alone.
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